Category Archives: Random

Just like what it sounds like: these are just random ramblings that I have on occasion. Sometimes fun, sometimes not, and sometimes just plain weird.

Woohooo!!! I made it!

 

This is gonna be a quick post, but I finished NaNoWriMo again this year! I was originally not going to do it because I was working, taking a class and applying for a few jobs, but I made it with no serious side effects that I know of… besides a NOVEL!!

Ok, ok. Let’s be serious. But then again, this story isn’t serious at all. I still have some more details that I need to add (about 7 1/2 days from my trip, actually), but what I have is good enough for me to start watching Netflix again, and to resume social activities half, if not full-fledged (is half-fledged a thing, btw?).

So anyway, without further ado, here’s my certificate with the obviously non-serious title:

NaNo-2015-Winner-Certificate-Full (2)

Ok, that is all. Please resume your former activities of Internet scanning and stalking. But actually, try to keep the stalking to a minimum- it’s nearly impossible to pretend to be a corn stalk without too many people noticing.

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Thank you Thanksgiving!!!

Before I begin with the craziness that always ensues in this thing called my crazy stream-of-consciousness writing, I decided that I wanted to start with something a little more serious and substantial before you guys floated downstream.

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! (even though I’m a few hours late- or actually, a whole day late- oops). I hope you guys got to stuff yourself with stuffing, lather your mashed potatoes with gravy, beef up your turkey helpings, and fill up on other fillers like applesauce, cranberry sauce and the like. Personally, my favorite is always the stuffing, but then again, who wouldn’t like that stuff?

Anyways, I wanted to kick off this post by saying a few things that I’m thankful for right now:

  1. Jesus. I’m always thankful for Jesus. Without Him, none of us would really have anything worth being thankful for.
  2. Family, friends and food. I decided to lump these together because without these, where would I be? I wouldn’t have a family, I wouldn’t have friends, and I wouldn’t have food- without which, a) I couldn’t survive, and b) I couldn’t write about cheesy love poems or random poems about donuts. So I’m definitely thankful for all of the above.
  3. Thanksgiving. Without Thanksgiving day, when would we be thankful for things? Well, I guess there’s the every day thankfulness, which is great and all, but Thanksgiving comes with so many perks: the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and Eukanuba/Purina Tournament of Champions which comes right after, and then the pre-gaming slumber/last minute preparations before the ceremonious, hour long face-stuffing. But let’s not forget the late night run to Target afterwards to get some Black Friday steals before hiding out for the rest of the Thanksgiving weekend.
  4. dirigible plum earrings- they add a hint of whimsy to any get-up. (they’re from Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter, if you’re into that kind of thing- which you should be, because the books are the bees knees, and so is she)
  5. oh and books. Books books books.

And yeah. That’s just about it. What about you guys? What are you thankful for? Deep fried chicken that’s finger-lickin’ good? Mershed Perderders? Mixing bowls? Mixed colors? Mick’s? Dick’s Sporting Goods? Sports? Baked Goods? Mixed maked baked colorful mershed perderders?

So before I go off the deep end, I should also fill you guys in on a few details:

I’m doing NaNoWriMo again! This post is actually an effort of procrastination from that massive lump of words, but I’m doing it! I’m actually a few days behind because I passed out the past few nights before getting a word in edgewise on my computer, but it’s ok. It kept me from writing about random things, which I’m about to do right now. Write now.

 

Narwhals. They’re real cool.

Unicorns of the ocean

Yes, they do exist

 

Inspired? Here’s another haiku.

Turkey turkey turk

turkey turkey turkey turk

turk turkey turkey

 

Hungry? After stuffing yourself with all that stuff, I’m surprised. But that’s all I have to give out- Sorry! I need to save some for leftovers.

Anyways, before I hibernate for the rest of the winter, I thought I’d share a little bit of what I have from my NaNo so far, just in case none of it sees the light of day (which I hope won’t be the case). But be prepared. Your mind is going to become derailed- in a figurative sense, of course.

 

Come in, train of thought, come in, this is Captain Conscious speaking, over.

Hello Captain Conscious, this is train of thought speaking. I thought you were unconscious! Over.

No, indeed, train of thought. I, Captain Conscious, am not knocked over, over.

Ok conscious Captain Conscious, I’m glad you’re consciously over being knocked over, over.

No, I was never knocked over, and I’m consciously aware that I was conscious, being conscious of my conscious decision of becoming Captain Conscious, over.

A good, conscientious decision on behalf of your conscience, Captain Conscious. But be cautious, Captain Conscious, my conscience tells you to cautiously proceed with conscientious caution, so as not to derail the entire conscience.

What-…..

Captain Conscious?

…..

Come in Captain Conscious, come in!

…..

Captain Conscious, do you read? Captain Conscious!

Train of Thought, this is Captain Unconscious speaking. Captain Conscious is now unconscious.

Oh no!! Not you, Captain Unconscious! Over.

Oh yes, it’s me, Captain Unconscious. I was closer than what you had thought over, over.

Oh no, we’re doomed! It’s all over, over.

Yes, it is. It’s over your head now, over.

 

So that’s just a little bit of the sumpin’ sumpin’ that I’ve been working on. I hope you found it to be somewhat enjoyable, even though it’s completely unrelated to the overall topic that I’m writing about, which is my trip to Porto from just a few months ago. Hopefully, it’ll make more sense if you read it, even though there’s a lot of random mutterings.

And that ends tonight’s session on how not to be a writer. Tune in next week for poems about donuts and the like. Goodnight!

Hellooooo from Portugal!!!

It´s been about two weeks that I’ve been here, and here you’ve probably been thinking that I wouldn’t post anything! Well, I hate to tell you that you’re wrong, all you naysayers, you’re wrong!!

*the writer slowly pulls her fingers away from the keyboard, realizing that calling her readers “wrong” from the getgo (get-go? get go? gecko??? Yeah, the last one is probably the right one, for sure) is probably not the best way to make friends, or to keep them, either. She slowly returns to the keyboard with a mug of tea in one hand, and laxatives in the other, to see which will best aid her in loosening the bowels of creativity and awkwardness. She starts anew.

Hellooooo from Portugal!!!

Why, hello my friends! If you haven’t already been thoroughly disgusted by my reference to bowel movements (all in the spirit of a semi-truthful blog that actually resulted in no laxatives whatsoever), and are still reading this post, I am proud to say that you are some of the strongest human beings, if not some of the craziest.

*once again, said writer raps her hand with a ruler. “How dare you be so rude to your readers!!” She sets the measuring device down next to the delightful drink selections, then begins once again.

As I was saying before I was so rudely being rude, I have been in Portugal for exactly two weeks now. Well, technically, I’ve only been in Porto for one week, since I did the Camino the first week (well, more accurately for four days, but still). So I started working here at the refuge since last Monday, and have gone on a few sightseeing excursions around Porto. Basically, it’s been pretty busy, yet not busy. You’ll see what I mean in a little while.

Well, first of all, we (and the “we” refers to my mentor and intern-training-extraordinaire, and a fellow extraordinary already-trained-by-the-intern-training-extraordinaire-July-Intern) did the Camino for a week, or as my mentor and intern-training-extraordinaire calls it, a “mini-camino”. We started out in Pontevedra, Spain, then made our way up to Santiago, Spain, which is only about 65 kilometers away (that’s 40 miles, but it sounds much better to say it in kilometers). Other pilgrims that we have met have come all the way from Porto, or even Lisbon, which can be around 250 miles and more.

When walking the Camino, we developed a very specific routine: wake up around 5 am, start walking at 6, take a break at a cafe at around 10 or so, then arrive at our hostel around 1, or even earlier. Then, after the refuge managers stamped our credentials and showed us our beds, we would set up our beds, shower, then take a nap for about 3 hours- all in no particular order. We would joke as we were walking during the day (or racing, more like) that each person we passed was a bed that we just gained, since the pilgrim’s refuges were first come, first serve. At one moment, I was at a breaking point with such a low amount of sleep, lots of back pain, and hip blisters, that I began to growl hysterically as we were climbing up a hill, to try to keep in front of a large group of Spanish kids. “AAAHHH!!! We need those beds!!”

I also think I’m a bit competitive naturally, so that could’ve been it. Though it was hard to silence that voice upon walking the last few kilometers to Santiago, since we wouldn’t be staying there overnight.

So without further ado, here’s a few pictures from my Camino!

The day before we began. I'm clearly very confused about how pictures work.

The day before we began. I’m clearly very confused as to how pictures work. To my right is the extraordinary already-trained-by-the-intern-training-extraordinaire-July-Intern, and to my left is my mentor and intern-training-extraordinaire.

photo 1

This is where we stayed for the 1st official night of the Camino. We got to meet so many new people!

photo 1 (1)

Walking into Valga, the town that never seemed to end. But hey, there’s some nice views every once in a while. I think this one was the worst. 

photo 3 (1)

Only 16.2 kilometers left until Santiago. Woohoo!!!

photo 4 (1)

Corn fields and vineyards- a combination I never thought I’d see in Spain.

photo 2 (2)

I see Santiago!! There it is! There! Right! There!!! 

photo 3 (2)

Oh. The Cathedral is under construction, and apparently always is… oooooookkkaaayyyy….

photo 4 (2)

Inside the cathedral. Quite nice actually. Freakin’ crowded though. 

photo 3 (3)

Inside the cathedral, with the thurible, which we unfortunately didn’t get to see at work.

So that’s basically it. I would tell you more about Portugal, but that might have to wait a little bit. One can only digest so much at a time (and one only has so much laxatives… jk. This one really has none, but one has to keep the gross theme comin), like parts of the Camino. But anyways, here are a few things that I’ve realized in the time that I’ve been here:

  1. The Francesinha is a lunch/ dinner of Champions. The Francesinha–which means “little french lady” for reasons I don’t quite know of yet– is a traditional sandwich comprised of bread, ham, two types of sausages, steak, ham, bread, egg, cheese, then a spicy, tomato-based sauce on top– all of that from bottom to top. Plus fries.
  2. I’ve been folding fitted sheets wrong my entire life.
  3. Sleeping on the job has never before been allowed, but here, it’s never been easier, or more accepted.
  4. I can pretty much butcher any and all languages, even English, even though I studied both English and Spanish in college. Yup.

And yeah. So this time, that’s actually about it! I wish I could say that I have a poem for you, believe me, I tried. But you know, sleepers gotta sleep. And poets gotta poet… yeah, that’s how it goes.

Night all! And keep away from those laxatives now.

T-minus 19 hours and 2 minutes until I leave for Portugal!!!

AAHHHHH!!!

Ok, so I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off today, trying to finish packing- aaaaannnd I still have quite a few other things to do tomorrow.. but it’s ok, it just means that I’m that much closer to being in Portugal!!

I don’t think that it’s really hit me quite yet, that I’m going on a mission trip to Portugal- a mission trip, where I’ll get to walk the Camino de Santiago for a week, then meet, greet, and eat with pilgrims of that walk for the whole duration of a month. How cool is that?

Do you know what’s even cooler? God couldn’t have been more clear about His plan for this. As of right now, I am FULLY FUNDED for my trip!! In just a short span of less than one month, God has spoken through and inspired many people to donate towards my trip (thank you so much to all of you who have, by the way!!), and even came through on my plane tickets, which ended up being around $300-$400 cheaper than the budgeted amount. He might as well have come down with chariots of fire and told me Himself- He has been that obvious. Ok, ok God, I guess I’ll go…. if I reaaaally have to….

I think that’s what this experience has taught me so far: when God wants you to go somewhere, or to do something, you’ll know. I was very unsure about the trip in the first place, because I was uncertain about my entire future. But as I pursued it with caution, I had no closed doors. I was accepted to the internship, sent out my letters and received gifts from friends and family members, and had two very successful and encouraging bake sales. It couldn’t have been more clear. He eliminated those doubts, and pushed me through those open doors- ok, maybe not pushed, but more like a little love tap- a little tippy tap tap tap-ed through the doors (a few of you might know what that is in reference to- let’s just say there’s some putting involved)..

“Ok, so that’s all I should write,” she wrote- or I wrote. ‘Tis 2 in the am, and I’m going to be quite busier than a bumblebee baking a banana batter bake (wait, what? that doesn’t even make any sense…).

Now, I’m at 18 hours and 36 minutes before I depart. And I know what you’re thinking, “wow, that’s very specific and skilled! How do you even know that? You must be excellent in Math!” And I would answer, “Why no, I am not, actually. I still depend on calculators to tip at restaurants.” But then I would explain my excellent negotiating skills that allow me to coerce Google to tell me everything that I need to know.

or….

… it just shows up because I have a Google account because Google can keep me accountable. Oh how I can always count on you, Count Google!

Well now, it is getting much later, and I am getting much weirder. Ta-ta for naww ma frahnds!

Back from off of the earth’s face

Oh heeyyyy guyssss!!!

It’s been a ridiculously long time since my last post, and I was just thinking about how much I have missed you, mah friends!!

So now that I’m back, and trying to start writing again (hopefully at least once a week, if not more), I have a few updates to share with you all!

One very important one is…. I HAVE A JOB!!! Even though it’s with my old high school in a field I didn’t pursue in college, I have a job!

And I know I should’ve posted this weeks ago, I know. But I’ve had special needs assistant position for about three weeks now, and being a working woman and all has had me very busy. Never in my life has the phrase, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him/her drink” been so applicable. But I’m trying to make the most of it by creating large amounts of visuals for my student as he’s autistic, and works better that way.

I’ve also taken to committing to as many different things as possible in order to drive myself insane. Who knew that there could be a limit as to how many things they could volunteer for! So as of now, I’m busy doing at least something every day besides working, whether it’s arranging books at the library, or mucking out stalls and feeding sheep. Going from almost nothing to everything at once can be a bit ridiculous.

Speaking of being a bit ridiculous, I’ve taken to quite a few writing projects, which have all turned out to be, just a little bit ridiculous. While I still have my novel editing in the background, I also had a project where I wrote an assortment of poems for a food-related contest, because, well, what else is there that’s worth writing about?

I would share them on here, but I’ll keep you all in suspense. What I’ll say about them is: one is all about doughnuts, one is about apples, and another is about chocolate.

You can see where my priorities lie: with the fruits and the sweets.

So besides working, driving myself insane and writing bad poetry, nothing else has been new with me. Oh, except for one little teeny tidbit of an exciting detail…

I may be going on a mission’s trip to Portugal this summer!! I would be working as an intern, meeting and serving the pilgrims of the Camino de Santiago, or Saint James’ Way, and walking it myself for about a week! I’m just about to start the application process, so yeah, I’m pretty excited about that, because God has lead me this way 🙂

So that’s pretty much all I have left to say before my brain becomes the subject of another poem. If I were to write said poem, it would probably go something like this:

My brain says

the porridge this morning tastes different,

just like watered wheat, with water and wheat.

And wheaty water,

and only that-

I should sleep more. Both food and brain

are in my bowl in front of me.

They taste terrible.

There you have it. If you eat your brain and porridge for your morning breakfast, this is probably the only sense you will make.

So, to officially end this rambling post, here are some more pictures of my puppy!!

Sadie decided to go Celtic for the day, so we got to capture that on camera.

Sadie decided to go Celtic for the day, and we had the rare opportunity to capture that on camera.

She really worked that angle.

She really worked that angle.

So then my sister and I got to pose with the model!

So then my sister and I got to pose with the model!

We're hoping to get her autograph before she gets another modeling gig.

We’re hoping to get her autograph before she gets another modeling gig.

If that didn’t thrill you, here’s a picture of a laughing goat.

"Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

“Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha” says the goat.

Yup. He’s laughing at you. Not just at me, but also at you.

But don’t take it too personally. He laughs at everybody.

Thus ends the chronicle of the terrifically terrible blog post. Goodnight world. May you dream Celtic puppies and laughing goats.

Reflections on Resolutions and Resolutions of Reflections

I thought I’d try something a little different tonight. I got all the weird randomness out last night, and believe me, it was waiting to be released. A month or so of my thoughts being pent up in my mind is enough reason for one’s mind to explode.

I’m going to be a little more serious. And I know what you’re thinking: You? Serious?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That would never happen!! Only on the day that pigs fly! Wait, what is that outside my window? Is that a-

Yes. It’s a pig, flying outside your window. But let’s get down to business (and no, not to defeat the Huns).

I mentioned last night that I was hoping to talk about my New Year’s resolutions for 2015. I am used to following the tradition of NOT making a New Year’s Resolution because that’s what everybody else tries to do every year, and fails. And I don’t like to do things just because everybody else does them. You might even say that I’m a nonconformist, hipster even. But we’ll go into that discussion at a later point.

Nevertheless, I decided to concoct a few resolutions, because, why not? Maybe mine will last longer than just one month. Though I have so many, I might forget that I actually made them. So here they are in written, numerical form (as opposed to hieroglyphic form):

1) Get a life.

2) Get a job.

3) Get a grip.

And ablie-ablie-ablie that’s all folks!!

Seriously though, here they are. They’re pretty much extensions of those three though, if you think about it.

1) Finishing things

– I’d like to finish a whole lot of things. I’m paused in the middle or have started several classics that I just haven’t gotten around to. I’d like to change that, starting with Sense and Sensibilty, which I’m proud to say I’m a quarter of the way through. It’s currently the only book I am reading, which is really saying something. This resolution then means that I’ll have to severely limit myself when I’m at the library to checking out only one or maybe even two books at a time. It’s going to be really tough.

– I’d like to finish several stories that I’ve started writing, beginning with my recent NaNoWriMo contribution, which might even go towards publication someday.

– finishing things also would mean finally finishing that Giver book review that I’ve promised. Eventually. Maybe.

(I didn’t say there was a specific time limit on finishing these things. If it comes to the end of the year and I still haven’t written that review, please get back to me on December 31st and get on my case. I will lock myself in a closet to finish it then.)

2) Getting a job

– pretty self-explanatory, but this will involve a lot of self-examination and prayer. And possibly traveling to new places, if it’s God’s will.

3) Becoming a better friend

– this means being more honest and open with the friends I already have and with new friends that I’m making. This too will be challenging, since I’m not very good at it, but I’m gonna try.

– this also means spending more time in the word and prayer. I know it’s cheesy, cause Jesus is ma friend and all- I mean, yah, I just finished snapchatting him a picture of me blogging about him.

J.k. He doesn’t have snapchat, let alone an iPhone, but if He did, He’d have all the best expressions, because comon. He’s Jesus, the freakin’ Son of God.

Anyways, this is getting a little weird, so let me take it down a notch.

Tonight, I watched a live streaming of the Passion 2015 conference in Georgia. Francis Chan, author of books like Crazy Love and Forgotten God was speaking. We looked into Exodus 19 when Moses goes up the mountain to speak with God, who descended to the mountain in a dense cloud. The Israelites were gathered around the mountain, hearing God talk to Moses amidst the thunder, lightning and loud trumpet blasts. They were too busy being near to the presence of God to think about checking their Facebook statuses or playing Bible Trivia Crack.

We have the same opportunity–even better, actually, because we can enter into his presence at any time we like– to talk with that same God who’s still that great and always present. And yet we only squeeze him into our five minute time slot in the morning, or at night when we’re falling asleep.

But the thing is, God cannot be squeezed into tight spaces. Following God is a commitment that can take a lot of time and energy. But I can tell you from personal experience that it’s worth that commitment, and time doesn’t really matter. I notice a definite change in my life when I am committing to being in his presence daily, and it’s a beautiful change.

Now I come to the end of my post, and I hope my random ramblings have helped you in some way, even if it was extremely difficult to be serious the whole time. I’m sure you could tell.

And here, I encourage you, in the spirit of making New Year’s Resolutions when people make commitments, to join me in committing to following God whole-heartedly. Because the half-hearted thing isn’t a good look.

So with that, I make my exodus (hopefully not like the Israelites). A good night to you all, and to you all a good night.

Robin Williams and robin’ fingers

Goooooooood morning Vietnam!! (And now, please say you’ve seen “Good Morning Vietnam,” otherwise this subtle reference was completely wasted on the wrong people.)

Hellooooooooo!!!! (Now think of the scene from Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams smooshes (smoshes? Smushes? Smoushes??! Ah. Smuuuushes) his face into a cake because he had just lost his face mask, and was trying to keep the whole masquerade going. Don’t ask me why, I’m feeling in the Robin Williams mode, just go with it. R.I.P. to the one who went robin our hearts.)

Anyways, hello my friends!! I have missed you so much, as I am now just climbing up from the earth’s face from where I had fallen. And the reason I call you my friends is because I know you care so much, and because I feel like I can begin any conversation as if we were already in conversation, if you know what I mean. I’m sure you do.

Anyway, the reason that I haven’t posted for so long is because of this ‘lil cutie. I mean, who turn away from that face to write ridiculous self-consumed junk?

(Now here is where I insert the picture of our new adorable golden retriever, but I’m going to pause for effect… or affect? Ah… aeaeaffect. “Now that’s better!”- [insert here little cheesy song jingle… what’s that from again? Ahh just thought of it as I’m proofreading this. Wendy’s. Stupid commercials…]).

(Pausing…..)

(Still paused….)

(Haven’t pushed play yet….)

(“Play the movie!!” “Yah, play!!”)

(Ok, I will, I guess. Once again, if you’re a movie guru, and listen to the DVD title menu music for hours on end because you can can can, such as the movie, oh say Shrek, you would know exactly what I’m talking about).

(Ok, and play).

Sadie First Day

This was her first day home. Isn’t she just the cutest thing?

Sadie First Bath

This is a picture of her after her first bath. Just look at the little fluffernutter!!! Look at her, gosh darnit!!!!!

So yeah. It’s pretty much impossible to steal myself away from her, because she’s too busy stealing my heart. Or my shoes. Or my fingers.

Anyway, I thought it was about time that I wrote something, not to mention something during the odd hours of the night when most people are dreaming sweet dreams of sugarplums and Kanye West spoofs. And something that made absolutely no sense. This is what you have been missing. My mind has been unleashed, like a “puppy on the run” (another jingle, but one from our family fam fam)- which, when unleashed in the house, she does run.

So here I am, writing something. I had a whole amount of things I was going to talk about, like New Years Resolutions, and all of these witty things, but phew, look at them!! They just shot off like a rocket through my window! And broke the glass too. Rude.

So I think I might save that for another time, because, that’s what I do. Plus it’s getting close to 4 am, and my cuckoo clock is bound to go off any second.

…just kidding about that clock. I have ten more minutes until it goes off, so I should be fine.

Anyway, I’m still gonna go. I’ve drinken (drunken, dranken? Drinken? Bah, I give up. Though if you were a sheep, you’d say ba-a-a-a-a I give up. But you’re not, because sheep can’t read, and you can. Though I don’t think they’d be dumb enough to continue reading this, they’d say it’s so ba-a-a-a-ad that they have to stop. You should stop reading it too. And I should stop writing. [and this is when the blog writer instantly feels guilty for calling her readers stupid, and where she decides to quit writing for the night, and call it a night, or morning, or day, depending on which time zone you’re in])…

I decided not to even continue that sentence because it was getting too long, if you know what I mean… (now get your head out of that gutter!! You filthy, filthy minds!!! [and once again, the blog writer instantly feels guilty for assuming that the readers’ minds are filthy, and decides to stick to poetry from now on: mainly haikus, with this type of format:

Here is a haiku

I wish that it could rhyme some

I should stick to prose

And here the blog writer decides to agree with the haiku, and continue writing prose and making weird jokes.])

If you’ve stayed with me for this long, I admire your endurance. I will spare you finally, by ending here with an inspirational message: don’t write poems, unless you really can.

And that concludes our show of “What’s going on at 3 am in Jen’s Brain”! Thanks for sticking around, we’ll see you next week! Coming right up, “the cuckoo clock that didn’t go off, because the sound wasn’t turned on to begin with!” Right after the break.

This is why I don’t have a life. Thank you, television.